I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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