I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
