sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
