those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
