there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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