i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
