Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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