yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
