They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
