That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
