WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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