Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
