I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
