Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
