we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
