did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
