She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
