So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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