There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
