I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
