so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
