Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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