hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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