Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I need help removing her.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
