dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
