Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
