You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize