I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
