yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Holy shit dude........stairs
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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