Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
