Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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