Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
