dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
