she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
