Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
if only i could text you this smell
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
