he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
