somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
