In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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