sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
