is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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