gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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