Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize