well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
