i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
