yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
