i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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