I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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