You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
