wat bout pragnant strippers??
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize