I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
