During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
