Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
