highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize