you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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