Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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