I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
