The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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