it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I know her cup size but not her name....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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