Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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